Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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