I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
