I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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