Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
