Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
