You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
