What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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