Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
