I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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