im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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