It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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