Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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