It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.