I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
