Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day

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  (973): yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day http://tfl.nu/9i5e
  Replies (13) Good night (1272) Bad night (2710)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.

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  (917): we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer. http://tfl.nu/2zy4
  Replies (60) Good night (10340) Bad night (1323)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.

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  (317): for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7. http://tfl.nu/34yz
  Replies (13) Good night (742) Bad night (3337)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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  (912): Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up. http://tfl.nu/ccc0
  Replies (4) Good night (4287) Bad night (820)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet

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  (908): Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet http://tfl.nu/3286
  Replies (5) Good night (2192) Bad night (636)
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  (+33): View more from France

  Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.

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  (+33): Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that. http://tfl.nu/zac1
  Replies (2) Good night (2424) Bad night (883)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

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  (402): At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar. http://tfl.nu/wx7w
  Replies (3) Good night (1442) Bad night (658)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1875) Bad night (837)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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  (306): I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever http://tfl.nu/lhkq
  Replies (22) Good night (1457) Bad night (717)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?

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  (361): Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/01wo
  Replies (7) Good night (1256) Bad night (953)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.

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  (720): We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins. http://tfl.nu/ctwf
  Replies (6) Good night (1757) Bad night (509)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.

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  (503): The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/iw9s
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (420)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride

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  (585): Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride http://tfl.nu/ym4t
  Replies (3) Good night (1135) Bad night (398)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?

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  (609): I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian? http://tfl.nu/utza
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (514)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.

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  (573): Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move. http://tfl.nu/x4s9
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (242)

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