and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's blow job season.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.