I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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