...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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