I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Four minutes until I can fart!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
