I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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