that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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