Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
