The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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