did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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