Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
