I wish I could teleport
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
