Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
