Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize