Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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