You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
