I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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