I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
