I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize