Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
