if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
