Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
