I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
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I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
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She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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