I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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