Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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