I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
