i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
