Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
