Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
