I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
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Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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