He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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