I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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