dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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