I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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