Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
