He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
