I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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