Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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