i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
