I am spending my child support on dildos
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need a beard to bite.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
