Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I want to have your abortion

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(619): I want to have your abortion http://tfl.nu/1oyo

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(207): View more from Maine

I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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(207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid. http://tfl.nu/67sh

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm so horny!

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm so hungry

(508): View more from Massachusetts

WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!

(781): View more from Massachusetts

For your pussy...

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(508): I'm so horny! (781): I'm so hungry (508): WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY! (781): For your pussy... http://tfl.nu/7j50

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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(832): I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots" (832): On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep. http://tfl.nu/g6me

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(937): View more from Ohio

I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

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(937): I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/skfa

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(201): View more from New Jersey

so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?

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(201): so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA? http://tfl.nu/qz9z

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(305): View more from Florida

Party in the USA is so catchy!

(863): View more from Florida

Yea, so is AIDS.

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(305): Party in the USA is so catchy! (863): Yea, so is AIDS. http://tfl.nu/nzzd

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(260): View more from Indiana

I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.

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(260): I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/s74r

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

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(706): I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant. http://tfl.nu/0cvw

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(650): View more from California

Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college

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(650): Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college http://tfl.nu/e5ta

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(541): View more from Oregon

Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.

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(541): Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/gw56

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(604): View more from British Columbia

It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.

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(604): It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good. http://tfl.nu/yhf8

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(760): View more from California

I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.

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(760): I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level. http://tfl.nu/vn8c

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(540): View more from Virginia

Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back

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(540): Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back http://tfl.nu/kuz3

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.

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(304): Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am. http://tfl.nu/u695

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