no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
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I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
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Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.