But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is Oprah even human
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty