Duck Duck Cougar?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.