So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dicks are not precious.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
