ya dads aren't the best wingmen
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
