Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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