4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize