DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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